Still Can’t decide

I actually managed to practice last night, though thoughts and questions about signing up for the degree course were wirling around my mind. A reasonable practice after 2 days off, but its hard to have the mind engaged when it suddenly has so much to ponder. Thanks to AC and Wellwisher for their encouraging comments yesterday.

The Pro’s are

  • that it’s something I would like to do,
  • Who knows where it could lead,
  • I will know more about my practice and a whole host of other stuff,
  • the lectures are on the weekends,
  • the 3 day summer school is not far away
  • It would give me a focus.
  • I can only think of one other family member who has done a University course.

The Cons are

  • The Money, do they do student loans for students over 40?
  • Can I physically find the necessary time to study with working full time?
  • Am I capable of studying again after not doing it for so long?
  • Am I the type of person this is aimed at, or is it for teachers?
  • Would I be completely out of my depth?
  • Would my practice suffer?
  • I would have to give up travelling
  • I would have to severely rein back my responsibities & work I do for the travel club
  • Would the already high stress levels of coping with my aging parents be worsened?

I am not trying to put barriers in the way, but before I post that envelope I want to be sure that I am able to give it my best shot, I really am in 2 minds, a week ago it had never occured to me to study anything again, now there is a totally unexpected opportunity, which I am too nervous to grab with both hands, young people grab things like this without thinking, us oldies have the experience of reality and can see pitfalls and difficulties and wonder if its worth it. Of course I still have to go through an interview process befor being offered a place, that may be a full stop before it even gets going. Ponder ponder, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, I don’t know………………To be continued

****************************************************

2 hours after writing the above entry, I have had an e-mail conversation with the course administrator, answering some questions about the timings and other things, she was very positive about my proposed application, my mind is thinking this is possible, I just need to take the plunge into the unknown, can I swim or will I sink.

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10 Responses to “Still Can’t decide”

  1. tiffany83 Says:

    You won’t sink, I’ve thought that fifty million times before I started my ayurveda course and fifty times after – and I’ve learned so much. It’s been an expensive course, but it’s been well worth it. I didn’t think I could handle one more thing in my life (between two jobs and taking classes at two places & saving for a trip), but I’ve managed and somedays have felt like I was going to sink and I just wanted to drown – but now it’s nearing the end, and for the most part these days, I am SO incredibly happy I did it and so proud of myself for managing it all.

    xxx

  2. AC Says:

    Yes there will be pitfalls and difficulties ahead no matter what you do – but that’s life!

    Hasn’t this unexpected opportunity given you a new buzz? Will doing the course be worth it, who knows BUT as is often said, it’s not what we do which we have regrets about but the things that we dont’ do in life.

    You love your yoga, you want to deepen your understanding and this is an opportunity.

    TAKE IT!!

  3. annabella Says:

    I think it sounds amazing! Somehow when we’re doing something that we love, our other responsibilities fall into space and we become rather good at managing the time wisely.

    Take the leap of faith, it seems like you’ll be very glad you did…

    : )

  4. Wayne Says:

    You will swim, and swim well!

  5. susananda Says:

    Your pros sound much more impressive than your cons. I totally agree with everyone, just GO FOR IT! TTs are a great way to deepen your practice. Besides, it isn’t for the rest of your life, you’ll be able to pick up travelling, travel club etc when it’s done!

    You certainly won’t be out of your depth or ‘not the right kind of person’ – strike those off your list!!

  6. Kevin Says:

    My god you are all so positive that its the right thing for me to do, I am leaning towards applying for it and worrying about what happens after.
    Thanks all of you for your support

  7. Nairam Says:

    Yes, yes…!!!! 🙂 The best of luck with it!!!

  8. Ursula Says:

    Jump and the net will appear, someone wrote me once. 🙂

  9. globie Says:

    The deed is done, the e-mail form is in cyberspace. So until next year when they start to interview applicants there is nothing to be done, except be present on my mat. I just hope my net has no holes!

  10. Alfia Says:

    Congratulation on the decision! I also think this sounds absolutely amazing. I would add to the list of cons the fact that keeping the brain busy after 40 wards off dementia. So you will be strong of body and sound of mind even when you are 120. Well done! 🙂

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