Yoga fills the void

Its been a hell of a long week, the word stressed does not do it justice, my brain, head and eyes are frazzled. I was so glad to fall in the front door tonight, make some tea and then start doing practice, a full Primary series for the 2nd night running, but at least on Friday’s I have time to do it before dinner, instead of having to wait for 2 or so hours after it. Managed it all plus some extra backbending and the odd criminal handstand.

The last time I blogged I was in a shit state, I thought about deleting that post, but its out there now and 500 people have read, so what’s the point. In it I talked about things I used to do that no longer float my boat or have any relevance. In truth practice has gradually replaced them. When I first practised, football, tennis, reading,watching TV all came higher up the priority list, but over the last 8 or 9 years many of those have gradually been abandoned altogether or relegated in place of spending upwards of 2 hours each day on a 6ft long blue, not very sticky mat, trying to do things I would have considered completely stupid, not to mention impossible back then.

 I don’t regret the way yoga has taken over prominence in my life, I have met some truly wonderful people through it, not just teachers, but other students who have become friends. I know I wouldn’t be here if I hadnt found my yoga practice, but on the days when I don’t practice I find it hard to fill the time or like tonight when I have already practised, its 8pm there’s nothing on TV, is there ever, I find myself at a loose end. I would like to get back into reading, but my eyes have had enough after 8 hours staring at a monitor, plus I have read all the Lian Hearn books now.

At least its the weekend, hopefully I will get to explore and practice some more with my Kino dvd, then there’s Sunday, my sole reason of late for bothering with life, that wonderful 2 hours at the shala, hopefully at my shala this week instilling my body with enough prana to get me through next week.

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7 Responses to “Yoga fills the void”

  1. Alin Says:

    Oh, Kevin, I’m so sorry to hear you are in this state. It makes me nervous to see you put so much stake in your practice. God forbid you be injured and not able to practice, then what? Like you say, on the days you don’t have yoga, you find it hard to fill the time. Is a life centered around yoga a life fully lived?

    Have you given up too much for your practice? Can you find balance between your practice and other activities?

    I don’t know the answers here, I think yoga takes up too much space in my life as well. I can have the most wonderful day, but if my practice falls short, all is lost. It’s absurd how much importance I place on it at times.

    I hope this difficult time in your life and work moves on in due time. I know full well how depressing England can be this time of year. The perpetual gray skies and sun setting at like 3pm, it’s amazing anyone can get out of bed in the morning. I hope that is a factor, and not just pure misery.

    Have a lovely weekend and a great practice on Sunday!

  2. globie Says:

    Thanks Alin, I never intended yoga to be so dominant, it just happened as I gradually realised how much I got from it and wanted more of it and realised how unimportant some of the other stuff was. Apart from work there are worries closer to home which I never blog about, my practice is truly my escape from it all and why its become so important. Things have been worse, a year or so ago without thinking about its impact, I said to my teacher going to practice was the difference between getting on the train and jumping in front of it.

    Living in the middle of nowhere doesnt help, there is nowehere to go round here at night, unless you want to drink. We used to have an FE college in town, I did A-level German and Japanese, but they shut it a few years ago. I still run the travel club, but that is either feast or famine.

    Luckily my teachers have somehow stopped me measuring my practice, I am more accepting of whatever comes or doesn’t on the mat. And even stress fracturing my foot in the summer didn’t keep me off my mat, maybe it should have, my recovery time may have speeded up.

    The weather doesnt help, but I need to rediscover some joy in life.

  3. yogamum Says:

    I think it’s great that you are so dedicated to your practice, but I understand also wanting some balance and other activities to fill the time. What about listening to audiobooks instead of reading? It’s easy on the eyes and you can still enjoy getting lost in a good story… I love audiobooks!

    You DO need joy in life. I hope you find it!

  4. globie Says:

    Hi Mum,

    I was looking at some audio books in the charity shop this morning, but they were all tape, I dont have anything to play them on since I found MP3. Will have to wait until I go into the city on a Saturday to go to a proper bookshop.

    I dont know what I do want to be honest, I need something else like yoga that I can really enjoy and isnt just a fleeting fad.

  5. Flo Says:

    “In truth practice has gradually replaced them.”
    I couldn’t agree more. I however, wish I had the drive to do a full practice after work. Friday night I was so overly stressed I was physically ill. But today was a better story.
    **I really enjoyed this post**

  6. Alfia Says:

    Lian Hearn, huh? I loved the Otori chronicles!
    I agree with Yogamum about audiobooks. My audio collection on Audible.com has now nearly 400 books, and I love them! I started listening as a means of improving my English and got completely addicted.

    Feel better, Kevin!

  7. globie Says:

    Hi Flo, hope you feel better. Doing practice, even at home has become such an integral part of my life, its like cleaning my teeth, if I don’t do it, there’s something not right with the day.

    Hey Alfia I finished the last Lian Hearn in India, am thinking about starting them again if I can’t find anything else that takes my fancy. Your english is perfect what’s to improve?

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