Acceptance

I am better at accepting where my practice is on a given day than I used to be, which is just as well, as my practice or my perceived quality of it at least has been very erratic of late. In spite of the train and tubes I managed to get to YP by 8.20 this morning, but I seemed to do my whole practice with the feeling that I never caught up with my breath or found much length in my body. Knowing I had to get on with it I seemed to rush through standing, mentally trying to find the time for seated poses.

As usual with Cary she somehow sees everything in the room, my knee position in Triang Mukha, then waiting for me to bind myself in both sides of Marichyasana D, before taking me even more deeply in to the pose, I did  at least I manage to get myself bound in Supta Kurmasana, though I seem to have lost the knack of being able to lift out and keep my feet behind my head. I think I was holding tension today, and in weird places. As I was doing Supta Padangusthasana to the side, Cary came over to get me to release the tension in my foot, I didn’t realise just how curled over my toes were, gripping on for dear life.

By the time Urdva Dhanurasana came around I was really tired, one of those days when its about getting to the end, I ended up doing 7 to get 3 that I thought passed muster, or at least that I was happy with. I then stood up playing around with dropping back, mentally thinking this is the final hurdle. I hadn’t reckoned  on Cary having me work harder than ever on backbends today. If I had gone to AYL I know it would have been “just” 3 dropbacks, forward bend squish, home and tea. But its one reason I love to practice at YP, the teachers take you into uncharted waters. So today she had me walking backwards down the wall, holding at the bottom then coming back up 3 times. Then it was help with dropbacks, down and up, half way with cross arms, then a new dimension, taking the arms overhead and trying to find that point of no return, breathing into it, before going for the floor, luckily Cary has good reactions, as I failed to find the point, going too far, she intervened just in time, though at least having the arms over head, rather than in prayer means I don’t have a headache! She has plans for next time, to take me deeper, to make me learn to find the control, when I told her next time will be tomorrow I could see her mind looking forward to it.

After backbends I was ready to plough through closing, but nope, Ardha Sirsasana I have to point my feet, they were still tense and gripping. Cary’s attention to detail is incredible, no doubt tomorrow will be fun. I just hope I can catch up with my breath and find some length and flexibility.

So a practice of just accepting where I was, all practice is good after all.

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4 Responses to “Acceptance”

  1. susananda Says:

    I looked over at the clock and saw her catch you on the hangback! You are one of many with a long exploratory UD/dropback practice. She’s strict about getting of before moving on, but she gives you lots of help and let’s you work away at the wall for as long as you want.

  2. susananda Says:

    Getting ‘it’ not ‘of’…

  3. globie Says:

    That’s why I like her, she teaches, rather than just dropping you down and bringing you back up. I saw her watching my UD experiments, but she didn’t say anything until I stood up. AC thought she was generous in not letting me drop on my head!

  4. AC Says:

    Hey, you’ve got to go through baptism of fire! What can I say, the kindness of teachers………….

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