First week back

My last post was almost a week ago and what a very long week it’s been. I returned to the Labour Camp on Monday. The management seemed to have taken notice of the email I sent them to say I was coming back , but any shit and my GP would sign me off again. It’s been a week on the phone and filing, but this has still left me tired. I tried to practice Tuesday and Thursday evenings but my mind and body seemed to switch off as soon as I had eaten my dinner, every night I have been in bed asleep by 9pm latest, sleeping through until 7:30am, I obviously still have a way to go with my physical recovery. The surgery is doing better, though using a proper keyboard is still painful, well not so much painful as more of an ache that builds and builds and becomes too much to bear and even when I stop the ache goes on. If you saw it you would say it looks like nothing, but underneath the tissues and nerves are still trying to bind themselves back together. Probiotic recommended by Susan have helped my stomach settle down after all the IV and tablet antibiotics.

So Friday night I am home early and decided to practice before dinner, a slow hour of standing, then pick and mix seated plus some 2S backbends. It feels good to just do some practice, seems I am satisfied at a lot lower level now, maybe the antibiotics killed the ego as well as the lurgy.

Despite the rain and cold I had to get out today to get my haircut, alas Miss Scissors Ali is in the same ward in the same hospital enduring the same IV drip and surgery as I did, what a coincidence, must be something in the water on this estate. So the lovely Charlotte washed and cut back to what they laughingly call “wash n go” length.

This afternoon I did 90 minutes, longest home practice in nearly 6 weeks. I have invented the “Quarter vinyasa” for between seated poses, basically entails lifting the legs walking back to downward dog and walking back forward and sitting down. Whatever it is about the angle of Upward dog still makes that too painful and there is obviously no way I can jump back or through. I can now do most of seated, Purvottanasana and Bhuja are still impossible, but I carefully managed to get into Kurmasana and have taken to doing Supta Trivikrmasana instead of Supta Padangusthasana, which is improving my LBH no end! I tried to do the lifted Upavistha and the bum balances today, I slightly had to bend the knees but not bad otherwise.

Urdva Dhanurasana is still not possible, I lifted up on to my head today to test my wrist, but as soon as I did it I knew I had to get back down asap, so it was back to some criminal Salabhasana, Ustrasana and hang backs. The rest of closing is possible with the exception of Sirsasana.

A week ago doing this level of practice would have wiped me out, so despite my tiredness during the working week, things are gradually starting to improve. I am still struggling with eating enough to give me the energy, I just don’t want it, despite needing it and the Doctor telling me to eat I just don’t have an appetite, even for the things I really like. A tin of soup is 2 meals instead of 1, a loaf lasts all week and as for green stuff and fruit, when you have no appetite it’s even harder to try and eat stuff that you don’t enjoy or hate, despite knowing it’s probably what you need.

So it has been a long week, returning to that place after 4 weeks away only reinforced just how much I don’t want to be there and how much it physically and mentally drains the life out of me.

Last practice with Cary tomorrow before her maternity leave, she and I were both hoping that I would crack the standing up thing before she went, but that’s been well and truly put back, it seems every time I get close to something my body finds a way to put the block on it. Frustrationasana.


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