Scratching about

I seem to be spending time scratching off and counting down to things that may or may not happen. The Company are trying to force people into saying if they are going to move with them or not. I refused to answer, though we all know my preferred option is to start the countdown to a flight to Bangalore. I seem to be more and more going through the motions, doing what I need to without feeling or enthusiasm, marking time, hoping my dreams work out.

Practice since Sunday has been ok, well if we don’t count Monday which was a rubbish practice that hit the wall at Janu A, at which point I gave up on it. Tuesday was moon day, but after a day of going through the motions I needed to stretch that niggling sciatic thing, so ended up doing Standing and closing. Back to it Wednesday and Thursday, full practice with a bit of extra curricular second series to help my UD’s and dropbacks. Dropbacks are much improved, they are nothing like as dangerous and uncontrolled since Super Susan gave me a few tips. Friday was my usual hour of Ashtanga playtime, which I make up as I go along depending how I feel, so today this consisted of all of standing, a few forward bends and Marichi A and C, some vinyasa style LBH via Warrior and Turbo Dogs, then all the 2S backbends before Urdva Dhanurasana. UD came as a shock, I had started off against the wall trying to push my chest over my shoulders . Once back in the middle of the mat instead of the usual mental laying there game getting cold, I just pushed straight up, Bang  straight up straight arms, surprising myself. Followed by 4 nice dropbacks, just in time for the pie to come out of the oven.

So back to scratching. My niece bought me a world map for Christmas. The idea is that when you visit a country you scratch off that country off the map to reveal a more detailed map underneath in a different colour. Having been to nearly 80 countries that’s a lot of scratching. I have decided that despite having visited India a few times, that i am not going to scratch it off until my dream of Mysore has been realised. Next week I will be able to scratch off another new one when I visit Estonia for a bit of sightseeing and Ashtanga tourism in Tallinn.

But really I want to stop scratching at surfaces and dive in to life, I constantly seem to be waiting for something, before something else can happen. The company relocation has been going on 3 years now, then there has been the 3 months of waiting for my body to recover from the illness in January or now my injured knee. At some point I have to make the plunge in to a life worth living.


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