It feels like 2013 never started and has been a complete waste, in stagnation, pain and frustration. Last New Year’s Eve I sat on a Thai beach watching thousands of Lanterns fill the sky. I still had hope then that the Doctors were correct in telling me that my broken arm would be fixed in 8 weeks time and I would be back to work by March. Well 52 weeks later after surgery, physiotherapy, massage, injections and Pilates I’m not much further forward, I’ve lost my job through incapacity and despite a lot of effort I’m no nearer getting another.
Back in September an Indian Doctor spotted the little Ganesh on my pendant and told me if Ganesh doesn’t shift my obstacles to lifting my arm, that arthroscopic surgery would. So that’s where I am, I spent this New Year’s Eve morning in Hospital having my next pre surgery assessment, Ganesh had his chance, now it’s back to medicine.
The surgery won’t be until early April, so another 3 months of stagnation, then depending what they find another long period of recovery. I had a plan to go to Mysore next summer, hoping my practice would be back well before then, but knowing what a slog recovery has been since last April’s surgery, I seriously doubt that now. If I go I want to be at least back to where I was, Bhekasana and standing up from backbends.
I’m practising again and magically bound Supta K on my own at home the other day, but back in the real world my left arm still can’t get above the shoulder or lift my giant tea mug.
2013 never got off the ground and 2014 feels like its on hold, my passport is feeling neglected, covered in dust at the bottom of the drawer with a wodge of 180 Rupees stuffed inside that were earmarked for my post practice chai at Amruth.
So new year and new moon coincide, this new year I won’t wish, expect or hope for anything, Vairagya, what happens happens.
Wishing you all a Happy New year